June 9, 2025 — Someone Else’s Burden

My Dear Friend,

Over this past week, I’ve thought a lot about what I should say to you next. Sometimes I struggle to gauge where you’re at. The thing about friendship is, it’s often more one-sided than it ought to be. One person gives a lot more than the other simply because they can. They’re stronger.

When you reflect on the relationships you’ve formed throughout your life, I’m sure there are many that left you feeling light. Smiles from certain souls whose beauty is hard to match, and a laugh from a heart that’s bigger than life. Take a moment, and dwell in the remembrance of those relationships. The ones that made you better. The people who carried you further. The eyes that saw your potential and pushed you to become greater.

Thank God for people like that.

For relationships, even if they’re gone now, that gave you a glimpse of heaven.

Yet, in the midst of the light, there always endures an inevitability of dark.

I’ve often found that the people who are closest to me are the ones who’ve made life more complicated to endure.

Find pause in your breath and close your eyes.

Who in your life has a tendency to break your heart?

Who has troubled you greatly?

Who has knowingly caused you to lose sleep?

Who relies on you to carry their burdens?

Who thanklessly weighs you down with their own grief?

Who makes your world darker, tricks you into thinking that light is coming, and then repeatedly pulls you back into the darkness that consumes them?

If you’re anything like me, then from the first question I asked, you’ve had a vivid picture of a person in your head. Someone you love deeply and unconditionally. Someone who is supposed to love you back. Someone who, despite all you do, never seems to pick up their own slack.

Let the imagination of their face sit there. Focus closely on the details. Smile lines. Brown eyes. Curly hair. Whatever it may be. Allow them marinate in your mind’s eye and ask yourself why you continue to fight.

Why do you attempt to shoulder their burdens?

Why do you fight a battle that is not your own?

Why do you act like they’re going to change when you know the odds of that happening are extraordinarily low?

As you answer these questions, let me assure you of one thing: this savior complex you have is the most human you’ll ever be.

I do this same thing, and I don’t plan to ever stop. But it’s important to understand that you aren’t fighting solely for them. The brokenness inside of you sees and knows that which is inside of them.

When it comes down to it, the reality is, you see a mirror when you look at their face.

Let that last sentence become your truth. It already is, anyways.

Your Faithful Friend